Our Mothers
Published: Sun, 05/14/17
they should find it in theirs.
This has been one of the more interesting years
in my life, in lots of different ways. One of which
is my mom...how her health declined as fast as
it did.
I'll tell ya...Alzheimer's Disease sucks. If I didn't
know it before, I do now.
The dementia that goes along with it takes
people's dignity from them. And it makes life
a hell of a lot harder for everyone who loves them.
My mom's Alzheimer's spread rapidly this year.
She used to read my notes pretty often. Now she's
lost that ability.
And while I wouldn't wish the disease on anyone,
there was a silver lining.
I actually found a depth of love and appreciation
for my mother I'm not sure I've ever had before.
For all the challenges we had growing up (and
there were many), my sister and I got a real lesson
in patience and unconditional love.
We also got closer to each other, and to our father.
Whatever our moms did or didn't do, none of
them get up in the morning and say, "I think I'll
choose to be a bad mother today."
I'm sure they say some version of the following...
"I don't know everything, and I'm terrified of not
doing the right thing. And I'm still trying to live
with being a very imperfect human being. But I
love this kid, and I'll do the best I can."
If we can set aside our own disappointments and
see our moms as people, with the same fears and
hopes we had, we can melt away a lot of pain.
And free up a lot of energy that is tied up in
resentment.
And find new layers of love in our hearts.
It doesn't take Alzheimer's Disease to do it.
I hope you never have to go through that.
If you're a mom, have a great Mothers Day.
No matter what anyone else says, or what you
say to yourself, you did a good thing.
If you're in a difficult or complicated relationship
with your mom, pick up the phone. Send love.
While you still can.
Much Love,
Larry